Box 1

"I have just arrived here, in this hateful northern Venezuelan hotel, which charges as much as the [Nozuro?] and is awful: how ugly everybody seems here. How everything seems ugly after that magical moment this morning - for which I had longed and for which I was badly prepared. Send me some great love..."

"At times like this - I have had one of my blank mornings, and they occur about 3 or 4 times a week - I hate writing and feel I am in the wrong profession. You of course will agree..."

"You have your children and perhaps you will not understand how excited and irritated and depressed, but more depressed than excited, I am at the loss of mine. I think there would have been something rather marvellous there: it was too perfect and beautiful. I doubt whether it will occur again..."

"Three days ago I wrote you a longish letter. I enclosed an American Express $50 traveller's cheque, made out in your name; this was to cover your little murder. I also enclosed a clipping from the New York review of my article on Jean Rhys, which I wanted you to read..."

"Heaven knows when this will get to you. Argentina is pretty far away; and goodness, so is New Zealand. It was a nightmare journey out. And then, when we were just four hours away, one of the engines of our aeroplane failed and we had to dump fuel and return to Tahiti; and there we waited for something like 21 hours..."

"I was upset to hear that your operation was harrowing and unpleasant. I think you should be more careful in the future, because although I know nothing of these matters I don't see how too many of these operations can be good for you. And what a relief, though, to hear that all my letters had arrived..."

"I count the days for this wretched tour of New Zealand to be over. I am so concerned with other passions that I can't bear to be taken out on excursions - I really don't feel I've been in New Zealand at all. And the other day I really just stayed in bed. I love your letter and can't bear to read it..."

"I cannot write letters to you: they so quickly become obscene and mad and crazy like that long telephone call we had after your dinner party with your sister-in-law (Aileen, the excited inventor)..."

"There are times when I think that what we have so settled and deep that it will last for much longer than the three or four years you have in mind - I do want this to last, and I will not be the one to let you down..."

"They are asking a number of writers to do articles on their favourite pleasure. Well, of course, it immediately occurred to me that the purest pleasure I have known is trussing you up or turning you over or sitting against you with my head in that angle that your waist makes with your hips..."